Enlightening moment of the day

Hi everybody, I just wanted to pass this along to the general public, since it seems to be unknown. When you drink coffee in a to go cup, take the lid off before you enjoy it. While the purpose of a to go cup is convenience, and prevent spilling on the consumer while driving, it just doesnt matter. The only way to get a real good coffee experience is by completely exposing it to as many senses as possible. When the lid is on, you can't smell the coffee very well at all, and this is where almost all the taste of good coffee comes from. As with some other foods, flavorful coffee is only real good if it can be smelled while being drunk.
Please keep this in mind the next time you find yourself dissapointed with your coffee while driving.

Trendy Trends

I have been finding that the current trends we see from day to day are incredibly difficult to escape. Any attempt to stay out of the box, or remain unphased by the culture around is almost impossible. I try to think of ways that keep me from being in the current trends, but find that every time I hit on something, it ends up already being a trendy thing to do. I decided to figure out why its so hard to be original these days, and of course, the answer came while mowing a lawn, or two, or 10. Unfortunately, I can't explain it, so I am going to use this post to try and sort out my thoughts.

So first of all a quick look at a couple very common trends that are depressingly overused.

Colors for design, clothing, notebooks, anything: Browns with any bright or pastel color as a contrast. This is very cool, until every clearance rack and shelf at Walmart has this scheme. This is a sign that its time to move on. I like brown a lot, a whole lot, but something else would be fabulous.

Writing for advertising and marketing: No capitals, lots of a periods, incomplete sentences, and commands. It can be a very powerful method, but not when every other company uses it! Almost every good advertising company is doing it and its becoming totally useless. Statements like this appear on paper cups now: "drink." while the bag says: "food." making sure to include a period after the word. The period is cool, I did that quite a lot until I realized it was a thing... It says something more then just writing the word, it evokes a feeling that this one word says everything you need to know. However, it is going to far when everybody does it, too bad its still considered "different."

Ok so just kidding about having a huge list of trend problems, I kinda run out of inspiration after 5 minutes...
So on to the next part. Why I can't seem to break out of this shell and be so out of the box that I am an inspiration to others.

So I was sitting in physics trying to think of what doesnt fit in with society as far as colors go. So I know what all you perverts out there are thinking, but Im not, and I just like color a lot, and I have a pretty good sense of colors that go good together. ok!? thanks. So anyway, back to my colors. I tried to think of a single color combination for advertising/marketing, that wouldnt fit in the current trend, but would be acceptable in a cool way. I thought and thought, and couldnt really think of any colors that don't fit in(except teal and magenta, like back in the 90's.) I realized that this trend and culture we live in is not exclusive enough. The problem I found is that its trendy to be trendy, and trendiness is being unlike everybody else, at least in todays trend definitions. everybody wants to look original, and so, anything goes, as long as it isnt teal and magenta. Although, even thats ok if you add a dash of brown in. I am not real good at explaining it, but I hope yall are getting the picture. Basicly, every time I try to think outside the box, I am just being crammed more and more into it, engulfed by the power of culture. So drastic measures must be taken, I am not about to settle for this kind of thing, so, I just try and do things others dont think of, unfortunately, thats also trendy. See what I mean? Everytime I try and get out of it, I just find myself in it. Doing something different is cool. But fitting in with everybody is being different in todays standards, since everybody has to be trendy and different. Gosh, I just always get into this endless circle when I think about it. I mean, I am a good bit different then a lot of people, most people arent engineering majors and art minors, and most people in engineering or art, don't do lawn care for a living, and most people in college plan on using their degree when they get out, unlike me. But I just don't think that makes me cool. Its not enough in today's standards, now, if I want to be cool, I just have to go jump in a lake with alligators, or get stabbed by some sting ray or something that noone else would even dare to do. It's sad that thats how it is. I don't think I want to be cool if thats what it takes.
Oh, and as far as the writing goes, I am trying real hard to be more of a good writer and not some person who tries to fit in and uses lots of periods and incomplete sentences. That's at least a step in the right direction. I guess for colors I will just go classic black and white, it's timeless.

So anyway, I was going to try and cover up a lame rambling post with a better structured post, too bad I didn't succeed.

Life's tough. I don't get some fancy name. People don't say, "When's the plumber ever gonna get here?" or, "Where's the stupid electrician, he said he would be here a half hour ago!" No, Im just the lawn care guy, that grass cutting kid, the stupid always late lawn care boy. I mean, why don't I get a cool name? I mean, why can't people say, "When is the master gardener getting here to manicure my lawn," or even stupid landscaper, that sounds better then lawn boy.

So, school started, its stupid, and I think christmas break should be tommorrow. Well, it wouldn't be too bad if I didn't have to work, but I do. I am not a good multitasker in the small scale like talking on the phone and reading the paper, or in the grand scheme, like working and doing school. Jesus must love me a lot though because I can already see that I am way more efficient at studying then I was a couple years ago. I am also getting better and better at being late to every single class, appointment, and anything else that I need to be at on time.

I am taking one amazing class, well actually two cool classes, along with my other 3 evil classes: Judo/Jujitsu, and Printmaking. Printmaking is basicly gonna be killer cool, cause we get to learn all sorts of forms of prints and printing techniques. I am going to be screenprinting lots of tshirts this semester I think... Right now we are making woodcuts, pretty fun stuff.

This is the kind of post that inspired the title of my blog. Its kind of a ramble, but maybe someday I will become a good poster again. There really was a day a long time ago when I posted real good, all the time. That must of been before I did things or something. I don't know. thanks for reading.

Tips on surviving the hottest summer in 30 years.

ok, so since I said it before, I have to be ashamed of myself for not posting. alright im crying, happy?
Alright now that the apology is over, I will bring you some of the best tips for surviving in the heat. Its a jungle out there, Im not the only one who knows that, you have to be prepared. Thankfully you found me, the person who spends most everyday in long pants, in 100 plus degrees. Once you learn the tricks, its easy. Now you will finally be able to go on a 2 week camping trip to florida in the middle of July without even feeling the heat. I decided to go for the classic question and answer approach.

Q. Dear Hand, I have one of those totally trendy nalgene bottles covered with patagonia stickers, but it just doesnt keep my drink cool in 120 degree weather. Not only that, but my trendy bottle was so expensive that I can't afford 6 of them, which is how much water I need to be drinking. ~ overheated.

A. Dear Overheated,
I will provide you with two alternatives, the trendy fashion sense alternative, with a bit of creativity thrown in, and the cheapskate alternative for those who dont experience guilt.
1. For those who refuse to part with their nalgene now have a way to keep their drinks cold! Simply pull a sock or two over the nalgene bottle and presto, colder drink. If you are still having problems, just grab that paper bag thats been sitting in the back of your car for months, and wrap the socked up bottle in that. It generally keeps the liquid cold for about 4 hours in a hot car on a summer day. I dont know, if you still have trouble, invest in wool socks.

2. Cheapskates - This is generally what I do, just go to the sonic drivethrough, and order 2 route 44 waters. They will kinda get mad at you, since it only is about 50 cents, but its worth it, those cups keep water cold for a long time, and as an added plus, you get plenty of the coveted ice that only sonic can do right. I have actually have the lids melt onto the cups due to the heat, and the drink was still fairly cold(it was probably like 80 degree water, but I dont know, it seemed cold to me).

Q. Dear Hand,
So I tried your water ideas and they worked amazing, but water gets old after a while, and I still get hot, Any beverage ideas?
~bored

A. Dear Bored,
To keep away from 2 gallons of water boredem, I always start the day with a hot cup of coffee, or an americano. Most the time I make sure to bring a quart of hot coffee with me, it tastes amazing, when you get to sip on it between jobs. The great thing about it is, it never cools down, you get hot coffee all day, its real relaxing, and gets you all revved up for the next lawn. The other thing I do, is spend about 80 dollars a day on smoothies and ice cream. Just go into your locally owned grocer, and purchase a 6 pack of popsicles, eat them all real quick, then go work some more, its a great way to cool off, and get hydrated.

Ok, enough of the stupid question and answer thing, I cant write anything like that.
Here are a few other ideas I have found to come in handy...

Jump in your customers swimming pool if they have one, they wont care.

When you drive for a few minutes between jobs, dont turn the air on, it will just make you wish you had it when you get out again.

Listen to good music if you are landscaping, it will pass the time, and make you forget about the heat.
Summer Recommendations that are Customer Safe:
The Postal Service
Half Handed Cloud
Danielson(Ok, so a few people might ask you if your box is messed up cause the music coming out is so squeaky...)
Snow Patrol
Imogen Heap
Decemberists
Shapes and Sizes

Those all have enough energy to keep you working, but not so much that the neighbors 4 doors down come complaining to you. And thats a big deal.


Wear a sweat band on your forehead.

oh dear, I have to be somewhere in 20 minutes. Sorry everybody, you will only be able to stay cool for half the day. Oh well, maybe you can come up with something on your own.

Darn Neurotoxins

Anticipation is the best tool, and because of that, I am going to postpone the next trimmer post, and give you instead, a day in the life of Caleb Christopher.
So anyway, I'm out doing a huge landscaping job, and it just so happens all the work is located next to cable boxes, phone things, electrical wires, and whatever all that stuff is. As you can see I'm a real good engineer by knowing what all the wires and boxes and things are for. So anyway the whole day I am thinking to myself, "Wow, I am amazing, I have dug up close to 15 wires and managed not to slice through any of them, gosh, I must really be an expert like I thought. All those other lawn companies wouldnt have a chance, they would have more wires then roots pulled up. Ha ha ha, they are so lousy, don't even pay enough attention to miss a wire. Stupid." So just when I was thinking I had great blog material for gloating about my incredible skill with a pick ax, it happened. Yeah, two coaxial or whatever-their-called cables snapped under me. "Darn neurotoxins" I said as I picked up the broken ends, "so much for my blog post." Anyway, because of my quick thinking and problem solving skills, my life wasn't ended. A few quick phone calls, and some clever guessing, and poof - I figure out the cable company they are with, and another poof - the cables are fixed, for free. That was a happy day, the day I realized that neurotoxins could be beat with quick thinking and problem solving skills. Hooray!!

Those old things?

The new craze? Trimmers. Everybody's talking about them. Don't you hear them, fussing over which brand is best, what string to use, what ratio of gas to oil they use? Well, if you haven't, it's simply because you aren't in the know when it comes to the newest fads. It is alright though, there is hope for you because you have found me; the definitive source of everything cutting edge. And I do mean cutting edge. Trimmers, also known as the weed eater, weed wacker, weed whip, and all manner of names, is the new pet rock. They are so fun to operate, when you learn how, and practically anyone in good physical condition can learn. Of course, when you get it down, you will learn fantastic moves that speed up efficiency, and just add that classic cool you always look for when you are out in the yard. Pirouette around trees, swing it, swath it, through the legs, and over the shoulder, with practice, it can be your best dance partner. Check them out, amazing things.
Everybody has their expertise, whether small or large. I may not have any big breakthroughs in expert knowledge or anything, I wasnt ever good in school, but, when it comes to trimmers, I wrote the book. Well, most of it, anything too complicated or useful is in the appendix, and that was written by other people. So basicly, forget that its some small engine thats impossible to understand, and think of it as a destiny. You and your trimmer were made for each other - a bond unseperable. So with that in mind, its time to decide which one to buy. I am going to be posting a series all about trimmers, giving advice on the trimmer for you, the string, and optional accessories. By the end of this, you will be on the cutting edge of the potentially biggest fad in history. Look forward.

It is my duty...

My lack of care when it comes to posting has been evident, however, I realize that the general public DOES in fact need this. I realized my arrogance and pride have formed the wrong impression. Therefore due to my overflowing grace and philanthropic duties, I will now care. I will show great desire to post all the time, and when someone makes note of my slack, I will distress until it is updated. So, enjoy the bounty. It's coming.